To all you NO to GO Successful Negotiators:

One of the major causes of unhappiness in this world is a violated valued expectation that is violated in a negative manner. You expected to get that promotion and you didn’t. You expected your management team to appreciated you and they didn’t. You expected good health and you are not well. You expected your friends to come through for you and they didn’t. The list is near endless.

All the expectations above were violated resulting in disappointment, anger, resentment and more (unless of course you manage your expectation well.)

In negotiating manage two sets of expectations- Yours and theirs. A cardinal rule- Don’t allow the other party to expect more from you than you can or are willing to give them.

Why. When their expectation is violated and they do not get from you what you allowed them to expect from you-your deal is in serious trouble. From their perspective you lied, betrayed and attempted to con them into a deal that was good for you and bad for them. Needless to say a poor and stupid way to negotiate.

Steps to take:

#1. Realize the importance of expectation management.

#2. Check in to check out your assumptions and what the other party expects from negotiating with you. Expectations change.

#3. Know what you want from the negotiation. If you are not sure you may send false and conflicting signals to your counterpart.

Do the above and succeed even more in getting more of what you want and going from NO to GO in your negotiations and relationships.

To all  you Successful NO to GO Negotiators:

I just re-read the following poem that reminds me for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. By analogy for every action directed toward us we react to it in some way.

“Stepping Stone or Stumbling Block”*

Isn’t it strange that princes and kings
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings
And common folk like you and me
Are builders for eternity.

To each is given a book of rules
A block of stone and a bag of tools
For each must shape ere time has flown
A stumbling block or a stepping stone.

* (Author unknown- I quoted this poem in my book Just in Time: Immediate Help for the Time-Pressured. page 30.John Wiley and Sons 1981.)


This poem always challenges me whether:

I am  going to stumble over my daily challenges  or see them as stepping stones to a greater future?

Going to allow myself to be intimated instead of standing up and negotiating to get what we want and deserve from others?

See the negotiating challenges  as too big to take on or too big of an opportunity to miss?

And now  I must ’shape ere time has flown/ a stumbling block or a stepping stone.”

Perhaps it challenges some of you.

There is a half-and full day  NO to GO program based on a parable I am writing that demonstrates the power of right application and implementation. If you would like more information just contact me.

Always good to hear from you and I always reply back.

Keep flying and soaring.